W.B. Yeast : Blog

Unpoetic Ninfection.

NinFAQs: Answers to My Most Commonly Asked Questions

Answers to questions I hear at least once a week Q: Have you always been so cool?

A: Yes clearly, highschool:

SonicYouth

Q: Why do you only date Asians?

A: This is a complete inaccuracy - I like a handsome face from any country, ethnicity, or creed. I am, however, 100% likely NOT to date any dude who says "you don't like me because I'm not Asian!" while crying all over his white bread life.

Q: What are the "origins" of your last name/omg what kind of name is that/is that REALLY your name/WHAT ARE YOU?

A: I'm a person, sometimes! My last name is L-a space capital N-i-n-f-a. It is from a beautiful place in Central Italy (check it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_of_Ninfa). And yes, it is my legal name. And yes, I took  took Spanish class in high school too (we'll talk about how "fluent" you were later) and yes, it means exactly what you think it does. ZANY.

Q: WAIT SO HOW MANY LANGUAGES DO YOU KNOW THOUGH?

A: We all have passions, and language is mine. I've studied on and off many, many languages, but would love to argue with you about why you're wrong, but I will not assert that I am reigning champ of ANY language I have studied - inclusive of my mother tongue.

Q: You talk about drinking pretty often.......

A: I drink because you don't know what ellipses or questions are. 

Q: What's your natural hair color? Your blonde/red/orange/pink hair is so great!

A: Color can be a pretty subjective thing, but I'll tell you what - I will let you know as soon as I give a fuck about what my natural hair color is.

Q: You're so intense/ridiculous/adjective here. What makes you think you can do that/what is wrong with you?!

A: I live in a world with trillions of nuances and injustices, and frankly I find it hard to sweep most of them under the rug. If my addressing of social issues/my comfort with sexuality makes you uncomfortable, then you ought to spend some time blogging away your feels. Also, I'm bored otherwise.

Congratulations, we just had our first bad date. You might be able to wine and gif me into making out with you in your car.